today at the pool i got to thinking again... i mean there were a ton of children at the pool and they were all playing and would play with others even if they didnt know them. Somehow they all know what they are playing! its unspoken but theyre all on the same page yet in different worlds. its so foreign now... has it really been that long. has my imagination really drifted so far and is it beyond reach?? So i thought good and hard about life and how we allow such changes even when we think "oh ill never grow old" but sadly it happens. Its sad because i miss how simple life was, when i would worry about what clothes my barbie doll was wearing and if i was going to play with the neighbors kids that day. Dont get me wrong im glad to be growing up but dont we all have that little longing to go back to playing house instead of "living" house. So many responsibilities come so very fast. And high school is mainly a joke considering it doesnt really fully prepare you for life after. I have to do that myself. Self teach my self the ways of life. And it comes usually with a big slap...
The other night i re-realized how oblivious i can be with people. and how i cant tell when adult's are telling the truth. How practiced you all have become in lies and deception... years after years of practice. You might not think its practice or that you are even good at it but white lies... darling they are still lies. Im not sure its my human instincts that make me want to be blissful ignorant of these details again or if its just my youth. Probably a combination. I want to research this. ill get to that... eventually.
Elena posted this on Facebook today and i thought it was perfect for my thoughts today::
"I'M RESIGNING, I'M HEREBY OfFICIALLY TENDERING MY RESIGNATION AS A TEENAGER! I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight-year-old again! I want to go down to McDonalds and think it’s a five-star restaurant. I want to think that M and M's are better than money because you can eat them. I want to eat a whole packet of Tim tams without feeling guilty afterwards. I want to return to when all you knew were colors, multiplication, tables and nursery rhymes. I want to return to when you didn't know and you didn't care. I want to remember the whole morning was filled of what your Mom had packed for lunch and the whole afternoon what you were having for dinner. When a simple matchbox car or a Barbie doll represented a whole week's worth of entertainment. When you actually had an imagination. When magic really existed. When 'Jaws' didn't look fake. I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good would always triumph over evil. When a member of the of the opposite sex was just some annoying disturbance. When friends were real and you didn't care if they were black, white, Catholic, Asian, African, Muslim, fat, skinny, pink, green or from a whole other planet, it just didn't matter... until others told you differently! I want to believe that anything is possible all you have to do is Dream. I want it to be unknown to me the complexities of life and to be completely ecstatic by the little things again like the sound of the Mr. Whippy Van! I DON'T want to know of school, homework, clothes, friendship, relationships,popularity or even gossip! I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams and human kind. I want to believe that all adults must know everything (How wrong we were). So here's my money, keycards, my makeup, and my adolescence."
