i liked...

i liked the way you smiled at me.. i liked the way you would hold me from behind. it would make me feel safe and that you completely loved me and would never let me go. i liked the way we kissed in the rain and it never felt like it was cold for one minute when in reality it was freezing out. i liked the way you brushed my insanely long hair out of my face so you can just look at me. i liked the way you kissed my forehead when i was sad. i liked the way you held me and jumped in front of the swing when you knew it scared the cracker jacks out of me! i liked the way your hair would grow out really long n ud cut it and id complain but in reality my favorite thing was knowing how many days we had left until youd get another hair cut. i liked when you called my name... i liked that if i got embarrassed youd grab me and id know i was silly for even being embarrassed. i liked that you would know exactly what i was thinking and that sometimes wed say the same things. i liked that you let the world disappear n it would only be... me and you. i like that you understand my ridiculous rambles and that you listen to everything when i rant! and then you say "Well thats life sugah" i like that youd let me go back to him even when you knew id only be hurt over and over again. You wouldnt tell me hes no good for you you let me find out for myself. i like that everytime i got hurt and came back to you you were no matter what still there. i like that i can see it perfectly now. i like that answer you had when he made me ask if there could ever be an us... you said yes. I wanted to cry and say screw him and just run to you and say fuck the world... but i didnt because my stupid heart thought there would be change. I didnt realize it then... that all i wanted was to love you and be with you... i think all along i would go and purposley get hurt by him just so i can come back to you is a strong possible scenerio... i know thats a damn lie. but id like to think it wasnt. Id like to think that i knew i loved you all along.. but i know i didnt know then. i knew you were my best friend and you got me and you were still hurt over 'J' and i didnt want you to hurt anymore. i wouldve taken anything to take away that pain from you.. to take away the nightmares and to take away everything that had hurt you with her... you dont deserve that. you may say bullshit like "im a liar and im a theif and im this n that" its all lies you stupid adorible liar... Beacause your actually quite amazing. ilike that you can talk for hours about something to do with the brain and humans. ilike that i can sit for hours and never be bored. i like that everytime we talk or are together i learn something i like that everytime i see you my eyes light up n you can see it. haha i like that when i get awkward you just look at me and are kinda like your a dork and ridiculous! i like that we can laugh together and i love that you loved me back....

but now i dont think there will be anything... cus i may have ran to him one last time to where you wont be there in the morning... we cant talk as we did. and not only did i loose my bestfriend.. i lost my love... you saw things i couldnt and you would help me understand... you made me a better person and helped me thru the times when i couldnt breathe and wanted to literally kill my self... im embarrassed to say that. but you ... well i cant actually say it in real life but on this i will ...

I. L O V E. Y O U. B. B.