ranting

its kinda funny.. how others can fall easily.. but i feel like im back to where i was before i was with him... Hard to fall back. I honestly never fell for them just felt like hey this might be cool or this might work. but they always seemed to fall so damn hard, sometimes all the way. and i feel bad. i dont mean to be the one whos always hurting someone i just cant help it... how come ive dated so many wonderful guys that i fall for that not as wonderful one..haha i find that kinda funny too. I dont understand how that works. I dont understand a lot of things.. but i do know this song makes it all better.



And after hearing it i feel just a little bit better. and it helps. Because i sure as hell dont know everything but im willing to learn.. i dont really feel like ill ever know enough but i do know that i can try. i know that if i dont try ill feel shitty and unacomplished. i know i wont make it far if i dont go to college.. yet i dont want to at the same time. i know the path i have to follow and i know that i may never as well as i may find true love.. but is there really a true love? i mean common no matter what it seems to me that theres still gonna be lies in there.. so nothing really is true. i mean people do it everyday...

1: "HEY hows it going? good to see you"
*in head: shit i hate this person
2: "OH GREAT TO SEE YOU TOOO!! everythings going good, how about you?"
*in head: gawd this guy was such a jerk

Its the same thing all the time. Honestly give it a rest.. If you dont like em dont be fake bout it! i understand keeping the peace n everything but then later on when we leave that person n ur like what a jerk... WOAH 360?! you were all chummy with em! Shit.

OH AND FUCKING J! LEAVE ME THE F ALONE!!!